Heyy! :)
I decided to make a new Blog Post. Possibly for this simple reason: I JUST found my Blogsite. I think I just made an account last summer for my ex boyfriend, possibly, and very probable. So, life has changed very much. Well, mostly my perspective. haha, I guess I'm aging, getting wiser perhaps. I decided to be more optimistic, which is hard, as anything valuable in life is. But about a month or 2 back, I was going through the beginning of the end of my hardships in relationships. I had fallen for false promises, and was taken advantage of, which seems to happen all too much for yours truly. As for this summer, I finally learned what being loved really means, and I felt more than I bargained for. Inevitably leaning towards my latest decisions on perspective and life. Sorry to make this longwinded, but I feel very wordy tonight... haha, and I've been trying to keep my mind off of the people in my life, and the pain attached to them in my mind.

I've been seriously questioning what reality is and what hard facts truly symbolise to most. why do they make us feel certain ways. I'm tired of hitting brick walls. Now, I have more control on my feelings, and I refuse to let the universe have full control.

:) all in all. Circumstances suck. But As for me, I'm All Well.

I settled down a twisted up frown disguised as a smile, well you would have never known. I had it all, but not what I wanted.
Cause hope for me was a place uncharted and overgrown.
You'd make your way in. I'd resisted just like this,
"You can't tell me to feel". The truth never set me free
So, I did it myself. You can't be too careful anymore.
When all that is waiting for you won't come any closer,
You've got to reach a little more.

Careful - Paramore <3

You Won't See Me Cry

This Time Was Different, Felt Like I Was Just A Victim

Falling deeper into the shadows of despair are what I try not to do this time of year, as I have done for years passed, and I am letting go, I am stronger, but this time, I have what I thought I may have wanted. A few months ago, I basically started a one on one connection for the primary time... and I wished for only time, I am questioning this, for I have met another...now I'm making another blog, another story and yet another time, I read the blogs of the other one I fell for, and even though I am regretting things, I am still very far behind in many ways, ad I haven't been in a real relationship, actually not even close, I could go on about my boring story, but it's nothing compared to most, although I let myself fall for people so deeply, how can I say this when I didn't do much on my path?? one question weighing on my mind more than anything... just as the famous song, once, not too long ago stated, written by someone with the same birthday as yours truly, "what is Love?".... and why do people seem to be so careless about it to me? Am I the only one?? Or do people like to fuck things up just that much?? so it's my second summer with a job, a little late, as I am 18, but it's sad something stressful keeps my mind off of the 2 people I care for most, which are way too far away, it's no joke, no matter what the higher ups of life think, god or the universe, I want nothing more than to be in a stable relationship, my first and my last, of course it would be nice to have more people to do things with before settling down, but isn't that what any sane person wants after falling on love?? or am i crazy for being sane??

This world will never be what I expected, & if I don't belong, who would have guessed it?

Do you see the beauty, or must you be so ignorant, I will sit back no longer, I will fight, if not socially unjustly towards the blind inhabitants of this failing word of ours, I will cure this disease, and I will be loved and gladly fall in love with strict fidelity of my preference and choice of love, from with whom the person I was born to be, I was born for this.