You Won't See Me Cry

This Time Was Different, Felt Like I Was Just A Victim

Falling deeper into the shadows of despair are what I try not to do this time of year, as I have done for years passed, and I am letting go, I am stronger, but this time, I have what I thought I may have wanted. A few months ago, I basically started a one on one connection for the primary time... and I wished for only time, I am questioning this, for I have met another...now I'm making another blog, another story and yet another time, I read the blogs of the other one I fell for, and even though I am regretting things, I am still very far behind in many ways, ad I haven't been in a real relationship, actually not even close, I could go on about my boring story, but it's nothing compared to most, although I let myself fall for people so deeply, how can I say this when I didn't do much on my path?? one question weighing on my mind more than anything... just as the famous song, once, not too long ago stated, written by someone with the same birthday as yours truly, "what is Love?".... and why do people seem to be so careless about it to me? Am I the only one?? Or do people like to fuck things up just that much?? so it's my second summer with a job, a little late, as I am 18, but it's sad something stressful keeps my mind off of the 2 people I care for most, which are way too far away, it's no joke, no matter what the higher ups of life think, god or the universe, I want nothing more than to be in a stable relationship, my first and my last, of course it would be nice to have more people to do things with before settling down, but isn't that what any sane person wants after falling on love?? or am i crazy for being sane??

This world will never be what I expected, & if I don't belong, who would have guessed it?

Do you see the beauty, or must you be so ignorant, I will sit back no longer, I will fight, if not socially unjustly towards the blind inhabitants of this failing word of ours, I will cure this disease, and I will be loved and gladly fall in love with strict fidelity of my preference and choice of love, from with whom the person I was born to be, I was born for this.